Life After Graduating From Smith? By Ashley Zurc, Nosotras, Smith College

Life After Graduating From Smith? By Ashley Zurc, Nosotras, Smith College

Sometimes when I look back at my academic career I cannot help but wonder if it was all worth it. Were the late nights spent writing papers that I have since erased from my computer and the agonizing class presentations that would give me anxiety attacks, worth it? Was the last four years of Mami comparing me to her friends’ daughters who have taken a different route and Papi telling me I am going to start life 3-steps backwards because of my loans worth the aggravation of attending Smith College? It took me four years to realize the answer.

Due to so many expectations and pressures, I have only focused on the present and not the future. I currently do not have a job lined up because I did not apply earlier. I decided last minute that I wanted to pursue my dream of attending graduate school, but was only able to apply to one because I didn’t take the GRE. Although I manage a full course load, edit my organization’s newsletter, write a book review every month for a published newsletter, and work at least twenty hours a week, I did not plan for what comes after graduation. If it were up to my mother, I would finalize my engagement and start a family. However, that is not what I want for myself.

Smith College has prepared me for the world; I was just too afraid to begin the transition because it was not what my family wanted. It is difficult to explain to your professors that your mother would actually prefer you to be a stay at home mom and that your dad was upset because he thought his youngest daughter was a lesbian because she chose to go to a women’s college. I really do not care about what others think of me, but I value my parents’ opinions. However, I have realized that I am only going to attain happiness and success if I pursue what I want. If I had focused on the future and my needs, I would not be in such a predicament.

As I get ready to close a chapter in my life, I have realized that my story is far from over. I literally just began to apply for jobs and graduate school can wait. I know I can balance my needs as well as Mami’s. I have been doing it for the past four years. I suggest to juniors getting ready to become seniors to take advantage of the summer or any extra time to really prepare for what you want. It is difficult when you grow up in a traditional Latino/a family to be selfish sometimes, but you have to. Always pursue your dreams because in reality nothing is impossible. I know I will attain mine because my intellectual curiosity will remain with me forever and give me the strength to overcome any barriers.